I Don’t Know

I am going crazy.

School was suspended for another day and I’m here. In my apartment. Still.

Myself and two other co-workers did go for a walk, but save for that hour or so I’ve been cooped in like a chicken.

Quite frankly, the walk reminded me of why I was inside.

People are getting more serious with their barricades. I’m scared to take pictures because I’m hyper-aware that I’m a foreigner. My colleague and I got some stares and a dirty look yesterday when we were out walking.

Today there was barbed wire strung across street intersections in my neighborhood (an opposition stronghold). Trash and fallen tree branches were strewn across the streets to prevent cars from passing. In one area a man was dousing trash with gasoline to get ready to light it. In another tires were already ablaze.

And then there was the coffee shop with people outside sitting and drinking their coffee like it was business as usual. We stopped there and at a fruit stand with friendly vendors.

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

I just know that I don’t like feeling relegated to one place for more than a day. I’m not a fan of work (I work because I have to), but I’m not a fan of lazing around either with nothing to do. I can only read and write so much in a day.

I completely sympathize with the protestors, and I feel sad because at least one protestor was killed yesterday in the city I stay in. I just don’t know how long this will last or if the conflict will become more and more militant.

I’m trying to understand if people are even willing to come to the table to talk or if it’s an all or nothing venture.

I’m trying.

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